Bittersweet Holidays

The holday season. A time of wonder, delight, and sometimes sadness.

That's what we felt, the day before Christmas Eve. Chloe had her appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician finally. We rode with my grandmother, who insisted on riding with us since the other half couldn't go. (Cue my life flashing before my eyes a few times... she's a terrifying driver...) We ended up about 10 minutes late, but I got us checked in on time.

Long story short, after a long discussion, my baby was finally given the other diagnosis... she has Autism Spectrum Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder, Language Disorder, and he said that she is heavily likely to be diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 4.

I don't think I've had a blow that bad since we started trying to work out what was going on with her...

It explains it all, though... every detail can be explained with the diagnosis set she has been given. It doesn't make it any easier to swallow.

Both of us needed a mourning period, so to speak... this was the diagnosis that we were expecting, but not what we had hoped. That said, once we got a chance to talk, after he got off work... It's not like we feel any differently about our Chloe-bear, mind you... it's just a lot to take in. You have to understand, it's the realization that, depending on how she does later on, she may not go to college... she may be in special education her whole time in school, she may never have a true career, move out of the house... it will all depend on how she develops the next few years. And that's what scares us the most, we have no idea what we're getting into long-term. That takes time to understand, even as her parents. But, we came up with a tentative game plan, we're figuring out the therapies we need to get her into, and making sure she will continue what she already has. We will give her the best chance she can get, no matter what we have to sacrifice.

But, the news did make the holidays start out on a bittersweet note.

We trudged through Christmas Eve, went to see family and have dinner that evening. I watched a movie that I will begrudgingly admit was pretty funny... I suppose I have to let Mike have a win for that one... National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, I can say, albeit a bit hesitatingly, really was amusing.

Christmas Morning hit, and we all got up around 7am and began the day. Kids got their Santa gifts, and I gave Mike the cologne and cookies I had been able to afford, even though I felt bad it wasn't more. He was making me wait for my gift though.

When we got to my grandmother's, I figured out why.

He told me to open it, and initially, I had no idea he was filming me. He had wrapped a bunch of junk in a Christmas Light box. I thought I was being trolled, honestly, and I was laughing. I found one box, and thought it was a necklace. Nope, thumb tacks. Cue me chucking the box at him and snickering.

I pulled all of the stuff out, and an earring sized box fell out. I figured, ok... earrings then.

Needless to say, it was not earrings. And I cried my eyes out. After almost 6 years and two gorgeous daughters, I'm engaged to the man I saw myself marrying in high school. We're tentatively thinking of having a ceremony around April of 2017. I'll be setting up a savings account for the wedding, so that we will have a budget in concrete, but you know what this means?? That's right... expect to see wedding planning stuff on this blog now.

As we move on to the New Year, we're doubly dedicated to what our girls need and making their life better. We're planning our trip for Disney in a couple of months, during my Spring Break, and I am absolutely excited about that. Our girls deserve a nice trip, and we can go on a budget. Disney seems to get more affordable if you stay at the resort.

Anyhow, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year!! The munchkins and I will be back in January of 2016!!

When it rains it pours...

We need prayers, positive thoughts, and whatever you have to offer.

On Wed last week, my grandfather had a spell. I knew it was bad, I was on the phone with my grandmother when it happened… I suspected it was really bad, but I called my mother and told her to call them in 15 minutes to check up on them. Well, he ended up in an ambulance to the ER, covered in sweat, heard a pop in his head, and dizzy, unable to walk, and weak. He was so weak…

I finally got to see him after being in the ER waiting for 3 hours. I’m one of those grandkids who will head to the hospital when my grandparents are in the hospital, I’ll be damned if anyone will stop me. It was the weakest I have ever seen him. He was so tired, slurring his speech, in and out of consciousness.

I suggested heart attack or stroke. I was rebuffed.

A day later, he’s not much better. He’s still weak, dizzy, sick… slurring his words a bit more… I visited twice, and he was never any better… That was the day my baby girl started school by the way…

My baby visiting her Poppie.

A day later and there’s talk of sending him home. No diagnosis, just, well, we’ll send you home, your heart seems better. What the fuck. I talk to my grandmother… tell her that he hasn’t even been made to walk yet, so how can they send him home? She says that the Dr. is monitoring him, that they know what to do.

They try and get him to walk and he almost falls all over the floor. He’s shuffling, not lifting his feet, and has no idea he’s doing it. He needed 2 nurses and a walker to even move a small distance.

Well, he wasn’t going home.

A day later, they FINALLY do an MRI to check for stroke.

Guess what. It was a stroke.

So, he’s not doing well. In fact he has damage to the part of the brain that controls his motor function, hence the weakness and difficulty walking. We don’t know how much he will recover, if he will recover. He will have to go to a rehabilitation clinic to regain his strength, and then after that, either home, which we hope, or possibly a nursing home, if he cannot regain the ability to walk and is still extremely weak.

We do not know the final outcomes of any of this yet. All we do know is that things are not great.

And add onto that, my youngest is about to have surgery to put tubes in her ears tomorrow, and a week later she goes to her immunologist for what we hope is a final diagnosis determining what immunoglobulin/immune disorder she has.  So we have that tacked on.

And we’re broke this week, due to all the hospitals and Dr. appointments we have to go to. So there’s that too.

All in all… I don’t normally ask this, but please send my grandpa, and my youngest kiddo, some prayers and some positive thoughts. They sure could use them…