Let's Play Catch Up!

Man oh man, it’s been a while, and I’m sorry about that. I’ve been swamped!

Let’s play catch up! We’re going to do a Chloe AND Rayne update that goes all the way back to October.

So, yeah Halloween. We had a freaking blast! Mike and I decided to do Batman and Harley Quinn, and the kids were Anna and Elsa!

 

And did I mention the 23 lbs of candy? Because… 23 lbs of candy.

November, mostly uneventful. Happy late Turkey day, by the way. Unfortunately November and Early December are my busiest times, hence why no new updates. But we had a few things.

First off, Chloe got a diagnosis, finally. She is definitely IGA deficient. All of their tests showed unreadable levels of IGA in her blood, meaning she has none. Makes sense, when you think about it, and fits everything. I’m just glad that almost a year later, we finally have an answer.

However, the downside is that sometimes, kids with IGA deficiency and ending up on the Autism spectrum go hand in hand. She’s being tested for that this month. That, also, makes sense… she has begun a lot of behaviors typical of a child who has Autism, specifically what used to be known as Asperger’s. She lines up toys, flaps her hands when over excited or stressed, rocks obsessively in her father’s or my grandfather’s rocking chair, doesn’t sleep well, and has sensory issues, such as texture problems with soft, mushy foods (she chokes on them) and issues with things like water touching her head (Bathtimes are no Bueno once we get to the hair…). She is in therapy though, so we’re hoping to get better as time goes on.

Rayne on the other hand has been in school, and has been hell on wheels. I hate that school… she is picking up some poor habits from her classmates… And her behavior has suffered for it. Maybe part of it is the age, but my little girl has become a complete sass mouth these last few months, and I do not like it.

That said, the last five weeks have been hell in their own right.

Chloe has been sick again. What was a cold, is now close to pneumonia. And I’ve taken her to the Dr. for it about 4 times… only after the last visit to a new pediatrician (her old pedi is closing her doors) did we get some relief in the form of Bromfed and Clairithromycin. You see, her old Dr., love her to death, was not a believer in medicines for children… so Chloe was just suffering through these viruses… and while I see her point, I was also tired of my baby suffering… and this time, she needed the meds that her other Dr. was simply not prescribing. Clairithromycin is an antibiotic that is so strong, it’s commonly used for Cystic Fibrosis and AIDS/HIV patients to fight off infections and keep them from getting pneumonia. It’s stronger than Azythromycin, Amoxicillin, and Cefdinir, all of which she is becoming resistant to. And the Bromfed is actually to dry up the mucus, because apparently her IGA deficiency also causes abnormal mucus production in her nasal passages.

Luckily, she is now perking up, but she was very close to a hospital stay. And that would be the second time in a month that she almost ended up there, because 2 weeks ago, she had a stomach flu so bad she was puking and had diarrhea for 48 hours and refused to eat or drink, and was throwing up water. She ended up in the Danville ER, passing out in my arms, and they told me it would be ‘a while’ before they got to her… aka, a 10 hour wait. I grabbed her, and my other half and I rushed her to South Boston/Halifax. It’s bad when the best care is 30 minutes in ANY direction away from the hospital that is literally 2 minutes down the road from me…  Rayne had the same thing at the same time as Chloe, so she was puking up her guts at the same time, but nowhere near as severe.

Chloe needed fluids that day in the hospital, and meds.

I AM planning to get back into this while on my winter break from classes! So expect some updates for the next month! I need to do this and get back to writing my fanfiction!! (Don't judge, I like to write.)

I’ll update on how Chloe’s doing soon! In the meantime… stay awesome, people! 

Why the Mommy Wars are STUPID!

*Note, this does not include things that have been proven to be beneficial in one way and has no real refuting research claiming otherwise, such as rear-facing, which could save a life. Please, if you front face before age1 (legal age in many states) or 2 (RECOMMENDED age to Front face), look up internal decapitation… it can happen in an accident. Rear facing can save a child’s life. *

As all moms have experienced, everything we do is under a microscope. People without kids think we can do things differently or that their kids will NEVER do that, people who have special needs kids are judged by parents of non-special needs kids because they need to ‘control their kids’, but on the other hand, a mom who disciplines in a way that another mother disagrees with is judged for ‘hurting their kids emotionally”… it’s ridiculous. We’re mothers, and we are the most judgmental of the groups who judge mothers.

Why?

To make ourselves feel better? “Oh my god, look at her… I don’t do that, and my kids are so much better for it!” If you need to put someone down to give your own ego a boost, that’s pretty bad. And we’re judged from both sides, so no matter what you choose, you’re considered by SOMEONE to be wrong.

- It doesn’t matter HOW the baby is fed, just that it is fed!

Seriously, why does it matter HOW the baby is fed? Breast milk is wonderful, but it’s also not your boobs and not your choice to make for someone else’s kid. Yeah, there are options. You could get milk from a bank, sure. What if they… dun dun dun… don’t WANT to? Oh my GOD, that’s horrible! How can they give a baby formula?? It’s like… poison! Even though it doesn’t harm babies at all, it’s still poison because it’s not ORGANIC and doesn’t come from a breast!!! On the other hand… who wants to see a tit out all day? Cover that up! Go sit in the bathroom to feed! Your kid doesn’t like a cover? Then make a bottle and shut up!

…No. It shouldn’t matter. Feed your child in whatever way you can, whatever way you can afford to, and however keeps your baby full, growing, healthy, and happy.

- Vaccination and Circumcision are personal medical choices that parents have to make!

How can you pump toxins into your baby??
Well, how can you NOT protect your child against various debilitating diseases??

You cut your son’s penis because your pedi told you it was better? Do some research.

You left your son intact?? It’s nowhere near as clean as having him circumcised.

Both sides : DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!

However, there’s really good research for BOTH sides of the argument here. There’s also very biased research for both sides, and for some, it’s tough to sift through the trash and find the diamonds in the rough. This is a medical choice that a family has to make, and their decision does not affect you in any way, shape, or form. Does them vaccinating or circumcising their child affect you, 100 miles away, person online that will never meet this other mom? No. Do I agree with some of it? No, but I make sure my kids are medically cared for in a way I deem appropriate, and then I move on.

- Cloth or Pampers, all diapers are there to do is to catch poop and pee!

Seriously… why does it matter what someone uses to catch their child’s waste in? Some people hold their kids over a toilet and go by cues when the kid needs to potty… No, seriously… look it up. It’s called Elimination Communication. Anyhow, yeah, I mean cloth is better for the environment, but cloth diapering moms, you had better be recycling everything, driving an electric car, and for that matter, not even washing clothes with regular dish soap. If not, you could be damaging the environment. And you have no idea if that mom using pampers is actually recycling or what is going on in their personal life. It’s not on your baby’s butt. So butt out.

- Stay at Home or Work, As long as bills are paid, who cares!

Both sides have advantages. Stay at home moms are there, all the time, and are watching their children grow and helping them learn regularly. They’re going to parks, malls, and other activities with their kids. That said, Working moms are bringing in money, get a small break from the monotony, and spending quality time with their kids when they get home. Why does it matter who is watching the children, as long as they are safely being monitored? They’re in daycare? Ok, and that is your business why?

“Well they put it on the internet, that makes it everyone’s business!”

No. It being on the internet does not mean it affects you or is your business in any way.

- Sleep Training : Not your problem to worry about!

Cry it out, or attachment? While there are studies on both, go on and do your research, and then if you feel the need… share. And you know what you do then? You let them do what they deem necessary. Another mom’s sleep training habits do not affect you.

- Co-Sleeping or a Crib… does it matter?

Again… where that child sleeps at night does not affect you in any way. If they’re in a crib, they have risks. There are also risks when you Co-sleep. While it is great to be concerned for someone else’s child and have empathy for them, but to be a sanctimommy on social media because someone raises their child differently than you do, is ridiculous.

- Epidural or Natural… when it comes from between your legs, you can decide.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Who wants to drug up their baby, all natural is the way to go. But, what if they can’t handle the pain?

“Shouldn’t have gotten knocked up, if you can’t handle childbirth!”

…

First off… no. You don’t get to tell someone what they can or cannot do with their own body. Second, if you haven’t given birth, you have no business saying anything. Third, if you HAVE given birth, kudos to you if you managed to go drug-free. But others cannot handle that and that is OK. Don’t worry about how someone else decides to push their crotch-fruit from their womb. Worry about your own labor. You go ahead and use your zen candles. Let them have their epidural in peace.

- C-section or Vaginal: As long as the baby is born healthy, why does it matter?

Don’t get me started here…

“C-section moms aren’t REAL moms because they didn’t actually give birth!”

“C-section moms took the easy way out!”

“C-section moms are lazy! Give birth the way you were meant to!”

“C-section moms are overbearing, having to plan every detail all the way down to the birth day!”

Blah blah blah.

C-sections are not easy, fyi. They are far from it. It’s someone strapping you to a table like you’re Christ himself on the cross, and slicing you open like a turkey. It’s a needle being shoved into your spine and left there to help numb you. It’s being awake through major surgery while someone plays Operation with your guts and moves them around. It’s being so groggy after that you may not be able to bond right away with baby. It’s possibly being unable and not allowed to hold your baby after birth. It’s terror as you feel someone’s hands in your stomach and intestinal area, praying the numbing blockers don’t wear off mid-surgery. It’s only being allowed one family member in the operating theater. It’s not getting to have the Vaginal birth you may have wanted. It’s having to walk with a pillow shoved to your stomach for up to 3 weeks after birth, depending on how you heal. It’s a potential infection and future pain. It’s a difficulty in doing things with your child for weeks later.

It’s not lazy, easy, or wrong. Sometimes it is the only way.

As for the real moms comment… Anyone who has a child in any way is a real mom. You don’t dictate who is or is not a ‘REAL’ mom based on your meager expectations of ‘real mothers’.

- Discipline: You handle your kid, let other moms worry about theirs!

“That mom is shouting at her kid!”

“She spanked her child! Oh my GOD!”

“She just put that child in time out? For shame, that poor kid!”

“She’s embarrassing that child in front of their friends, the poor thing…”

“She’s not doing anything? What a lazy woman, raising little brats.”

The point? No matter WHAT you do, someone’s going to judge. So just do what feels right for your family, and don’t worry what the mom who disagrees with your choices does for theirs. 

Going to SCHOOL! OMG!!!

I got to watch my big girl take a huge leap into an independent childhood this morning! And it was great!

My Rayne turned 4 about half a week ago, and with that came new things, good and bad…Her first blood draw, her first real eye exam, her 4^th birthday party, and of course, her first day of school. Not daycare school, which she’s used to, but big girl building, cafeteria, library, full on public school. I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t nervous for her. She’s so outgoing, that some kids are put off by it… would she make friends? Would she get her feelings hurt? How could I help her when she’s all the way at school??

Or even worse… maybe this would be the start of her never needing me anymore. What if she doesn’t want me to do anything for her? What if she’ll be so happy to be away from us that she doesn’t want my help or to play with me at home?

Turns out, I had no need to really worry.

We got in the car about the same time as Daddy, and she was fidgety.

“Are you ok, baby?” I asked her with a smile.

“Uh huh.”

“Are you scared?”

“No mommy, I’m not scared.”

Oh. Well…

“Are you nervous or anxious?”

She tutted me, “No mommy, I’m excited!!”

Oh, well ok! We drive for another minute.

“Mommy… will you come in with me?”

“Of course , baby.” I smiled back at her.

I guess my baby will always need Mommy in some way, shape, or form. 

Oh, and for the record, she was good once we got there. And apparently she had a really good, exciting day, because she fell asleep for a nap about 15 minutes after getting home.