Maternity parking is for PREGNANT women...

Ok, I’m going to start this off by saying…

Look at my bump! LOOK AT IT!

I’m 36 weeks pregnant! (Minus one day. Close enough darn it!)

And that means I waddle when I go anywhere, and I have started, yes, using the maternity parking wherever I go, if it’s there.  Now, I have this pet peeve about parking places being used by people who don’t need them… I hate when perfectly normal, healthy people use grandma’s car and their handicapped sticker or hanging sign, for example. I also hate when people who are not pregnant park in the maternity parking meant for people 5 months and up.

Today, I was at the mall, and I go once a week for the exercise and to take Rayne for some girls time. We just go walk, we get some lunch, and her aunties work there so we stop and say hi. I physically cannot handle the long walk from the back of the parking lot to the mall’s inside, but if all spaces are taken I’ll suck it up. I just have to sit a while when we get in the mall.

Snuggling her sissy. Because I feel like
showing off my girls today, darn
it!

Well, I park about 6 spaces from the maternity parking, which was full, but I have a small contraction as I get out the car, which happens. It’s part of why, recently, I really use those maternity spaces whenever I can. I lean against the car for a minute, when who walks out but 3 girls, looking to be ranging in age from 17 to 20. Not a one was pregnant. And they were chatting and cackling about how they got great parking and how no one had even checked to see if they were pregnant or anything, and how this was WAY better than parking further back!

By this point, I’m listening intently. And I’m fuming. Like I said, it’s a pet peeve.

They continue giggling and laughing as they get in their car and leave. I hadn’t gotten Rayne out of the car yet, so I went back in and got in that space really fast. But… come on! You three healthy teenagers had to take a space designated for someone who really can’t do as much walking as you?

I mean, they didn't LOOK blind... pretty sure
they could read what the sign said... 

Before anyone says that ‘if you can’t walk, don’t go at all’, note that I was more than willing to park further back. It’s the principle of the whole matter.

I don’t see why people can’t have some damn class and just, I dunno, take a regular spot? Like every pregnant chick has to do when the maternity spots are full?  If a pregnant woman had gotten into that car, I so wouldn’t have cared about it… but these were teenagers who were bragging to each other about parking in the spot when not pregnant.

I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a shut in the last month of this party. I want as much exercise as I can, and that means that I go out to places like the mall, during the day when it’s not busy, and I walk a little while my other half works during the day.

On the list of things that piss me off, this and taking a handicapped space from someone who needs it are pretty close to the top of the list…

So what do you think? Irrational to be annoyed internally, or annoying and it really should stop? Do you get annoyed seeing someone take a maternity space when they aren’t pregnant? (or a Handicapped space when they aren’t handicapped?) 

Shopping Carts: Is there added danger, or should people pay better attention?

I was browsing on Facebook while taking a break from a paper I’m working on, and an article from CafeMom popped up on my feed. Every once in a while, they get something interesting, so I clicked and decided to blow a few minutes reading the article.

The article in question was about a ‘Simple Thing Moms Use Every Day Causes Thousands Of Toddler Head Injuries’. It was about shopping carts, and the seats the kids sit in. And I’m not talking putting the car infant seat on the cart or anything like that. That is definitely unsafe… but the cart with a child of the proper age and size in the seat.

Article: Simple Thing Moms Use Every Day Causes Thousands Of Toddler Head Injuries 

Come on. Really?

Who else can see the big boo-boo in this
pic? Anyone else see the un-buckled
strap? 

Out of those statistics in the article, that “24,000 children are sent to the ER due to shopping cart injuries “ each year, how many of those kids weren’t being properly supervised by the caregiver? The article tells about how 70.4% of the accidents are due to children falling out of the cart. If you’re keeping a proper eye on the child, how in the world is it falling out of the cart? I’m not talking about hovering over the kid the whole time, but it’s usually pretty easy to tell when the child is trying to stand up in the cart or is shaking the cart so rough that it could tip… how hard is it to step in and, if the behavior persists, take the child out of the basket and hold their hand while finishing the shopping? I’ve had to do that a few good times, take my daughter out of the cart and hold her hand while I pushed the cart, all because she would not sit still in the cart and knows how to un-strap her seat belt in the cart.

The other 29.6% of injuries are from children  running into the cart, falling over it, having a body part trapped in it, or having the cart tip over… that sounds a LOT like someone not keeping control of their children in the store, and letting them run wild… I’m not saying children should be perfect little angels, but they don’t need to be running rampant in the store either. Think about it, how many times on a trip to the store have we seen a child running up the aisles, the parents not watching at all, while the child gets into everything??

It’s not safe. And we can’t and shouldn’t blame anyone but the parents if something happens to happen. My daughter walks alongside us at the store. She is 2 and a half. If she were to climb a shelf because we stopped watching (Which does not happen, by the
way, she generally knows if not in the basket, to hold a hand) then that would be our fault. Not a faulty shelf, not the store, not a shopping cart… but ours.

You take responsibility when the lack of attention results in the child getting injured. And it sucks, you feel like shit, you learn from it, and you move on. This is like the people who were misusing the Bumbo seats, so they had to do a recall… When the item is used the right way, the way it’s meant to be used, it’s safe. It’s not safe when used improperly, nothing is.

Example of Child Running Rampant.
(Yes, I am aware it's a commercial)

My TV is safe on the entertainment center. It’s not safe if I try to play catch with it. My blender is safe on the counter, used as instructed. It’s not safe if I set it in the bathtub and stick my hand in, and turn it on. Same concept.

And I understand the article saying we can’t watch the child constantly AND shop for food at the same time. That said however, I see many parents who just wander up and down the aisle while the child is parked and sitting in the cart, bored as all get out and trying to get up and stand in the seat. And MANY of those parents would get pissed if someone stepped in and told their child to sit in their seat so they didn’t fall.

Please, if you’re going to use a shopping cart, be safe. Watch your child. Take responsibility and keep your child seated and buckled, or make them hold your hand while you walk. So many accidents could be prevented with proper use of the shopping cart. 

Excuse me, C-section Mamas are WHAT?!

I had a WHOLE different post written up before this, but it was mostly my hormonal bitching about not being able to go out of town anymore because Chloe will be here in a month. Not worth reading. And the only other thing I hear about with any frequency on the news is about Justin Bieber and his idiocy, and how he’s been doing stuff that would get any other person with a work visa freaking deported.

Earlier, I was reading an article about something called ‘Family-Centered Cesareans’. It was pretty interesting, and as a mother who has had a C-Section with her first pregnancy, I can tell you, I’d have appreciated a LOT of what this article was saying… I’d have loved some relaxing music, or to hold my child directly after birth, and even to see her being pulled from me.  

What got to me were some of the comments.

See this? It was NOT easy being
cut open, let me tell you...
Healing that crap HURTS!

Lots and lots of ignorance.

A lot of people were saying that ‘Women who have c-sections are lazy’, and ‘haven’t you seen The Business of Being Born, educate yourself’ and more. I’d like to clear the air from one C-section mother to the many who apparently don’t know some of these things that cause a woman to have a C-section.

First off, no, we’re not lazy. Considering the recovery time in a C-section, and how miserable you feel once the anesthesia wears off some, I guarantee you we’re not lazy. Have you ever stood up and felt like your entire intestines were going to fall out of your stomach from the movement? Had to hold a pillow to your gut to laugh, sneeze, or cry?  Had to try and prop yourself up to attempt to do a night nursing with the searing pain of a knife ripping through your stomach?

Yeah, not lazy. We go through quite a bit to have a healthy, happy baby, thank you. I applaud you for being able to have a vaginal birth, but please don’t call me or others like me lazy for not being able to do the same.

Swear to God if one more
person asks me if I've seen
this movie...

To answer that, YES, about
15 times!

Second, we’re ‘uneducated’ about doctors and we’ve let ourselves be pressured, the body was made for this, etc. Yes, we’re well aware that our bodies were made to have children. However, not every person who has a C-section has not done any research and is going into this blindly. I, personally, read EVERYTHING I could before I allowed this to be done to me. I was seeing a midwife, not an OB. I was on a very healthy diet, no junk food, I was planning an all-natural water birth and wasn’t even using Tylenol. Then, after having to go to the hospital… we found out our daughter was transverse breech. She was laying horizontally in there. We tried to get her to turn, I did all kinds of yoga and other things, but she was not budging, so by 34 weeks, we were scheduling her C-section.

It was the LAST thing I wanted, and seeing the many comments on articles and pages about how lazy and stupid women who ‘let themselves be conned into’ a C-section were, I actually cried. I mean come on… how narrow-minded do you have to be to think that all women go into this blindly, with no thought about other ways to do it? That it’s an easy choice?

It wasn’t. And I hated having to have it. So no, I was not uneducated, and many other women who have C-sections are not uneducated, either.

Yeah not all C-sections fall
into this category.

Third, all C-sections are/should be ‘emergency’. Just… no. Breech babies that will not turn are not an emergency, but they still have to come out.

Fourth, our bodies were made to do this… Gee, thank you for making me feel MORE defective. I am well aware that our bodies are made to house and birth a child… it doesn’t mean that things always work out and go that way. My body being made to do it, did not make my daughter flip in there. Our bodies being made to do it, does not make the larger baby that got stuck in the birth canal come out easier.

Yes, our bodies are made for this, but sometimes, shit happens.

And lastly, in general… why does anyone else care HOW a baby is born? I mean honestly, does it make the baby have a serious problem if they’re born one way over another? No? Does a woman having a C-section affect you in any way whatsoever? No? So why do you care?

This really falls into the ‘mind your own business’ category here. Even if a woman chooses a C-section, what does it matter to you? Why do you care? Why, in the grand scheme of things, is this, a C-section, so much of a big deal that you have to call the woman lazy for it? Why are you so incapable of minding your own business, not passing any judgment on them for not having a vaginal birth, and instead just celebrating the life they carried for 9 months and now have in their arms?

Is it that tough?

I’m having my second daughter VIA C-section in February. I wanted to try for a VBAC, but the way I was cut the first time plus other issues we’ve had this pregnancy, we felt safer, not only my OB but me and my other half as well, to just have the C-section. I realize that the risks of uterine rupture are low, but those are risks we don’t want to take. I want to minimize the risks of leaving my child without her baby sister and without her mother, leaving my other half to care for her alone.  

I don’t want to risk that. And that alone should be enough. For us, that meant having the surgery.

So before you call a mother lazy or uneducated for the way her child is/was born, remember, you have no idea WHAT that woman went through, and she has no reason to justify herself to someone who probably doesn’t care to hear it anyhow.

Honesty time... I don't like breastfeeding... and I don't want to try again.

I got to thinking last night, about how Chloe will be here in a few weeks, and how ready we are to have our second little sweetie in our arms and happy at home. I also got to thinking about things that I had thought I was 100% sure about… like if I really wanted to breastfeed her.

Now, I’m not going to lie, I know that it’s the best thing she could get from me, the best present I could give her... and don't get me wrong, I think the act of breastfeeding is a beautiful thing and a great way to bond… but honestly… I hated even trying with Rayne. It hurt, it was uncomfortable, I felt gross when friends visited and I had her attached, and she didn’t take to it, so for a week, she was constantly hungry. My milk came in, but she wasn’t getting any of it. My other half had to pump one side with a manual pump while Rayne tried to nurse on the other side. And then I’d still have to pump the side she had nursed on, because she never got more than an ¼ an ounce, and there’d be another ounce or two in there. And the pain of having engorged breasts is absolutely horrendous…

But, the pressure to succeed is incredibly strong nowadays…

You hear it all the time… Breastfed babies are smarter than formula fed ones. Breastfed babies sleep better. Breastfeeding is the best you can do for your child, if you don’t try you failed. Breastfeeding is the strongest bond a mother and child can have. Breastfeeding is what you do when you care. It’s better, keeps your child healthier, makes the baby stronger, reduces SIDS, etc. We are bombarded with studies and websites and various people telling us that this is what we NEED to do. 

That is a LOT of pressure to do something that, honestly, should be a personal choice.

NO ONE should be made to feel bad for not being able to breastfeed. No one should be made to feel bad for not WANTING to breastfeed. And no one should feel bad for wanting to breastfeed or not wanting to formula feed, either, but that is something I rarely see… I very rarely see people who bash breastfeeding moms simply for breastfeeding. I’ve seen people not liking the breastfeeding in public, but not the backlash for the act of breastfeeding that I have seen for the act of formula feeding.

I have seen some mothers tell other moms they are poisoning their children by using formula. I’ve seen them say that they are borderline abusive for not breastfeeding or even trying to. I’ve seen women say that all women should breastfeed their kids and that if they can’t, they aren’t trying hard enough because all women can do it. Why? Why do we have to lecture moms who decide to do things in a perfectly acceptable way?

I don’t want to even try this time, if I’m honest with myself. I catch myself checking out formula prices and bottles when we go to the store. I don’t look at breast pumps as much, if at all.

Will I try and breastfeed again? Probably. But it won’t be because I want to, as much as it will be because it’s what’s expected of a ‘good’ mom.

I want to go back to work in May or June. I’m not graduating college to hang a degree on my wall and call it a day. I want to work. It’s going to be FAR harder for me to do that… if I am breastfeeding. That is a BIG thing for us.

I don’t understand why women have to judge about things like this so much. These personal choices do not determine how good of a parent you’ll be… Whether you vaccinate or choose not to, circumcise or not, breastfeed or not, delay solids or not… it does not determine how good or bad of a parent you are!

I think as a whole, society needs to learn to mind their own business when it comes to how other people

parent their kids. (NOTE: If real abuse is going on, of COURSE step in! That is a whole different ball game) If a parent disciplines in a way you are not comfortable with, don’t speak to them, but don’t go calling CPS for every swat to the butt or raised voice. If a parent is formula feeding… don’t assume they didn’t try to breastfeed, or even worry about it. The child is getting fed, and loved, and getting the nutrients they need. It’s no one’s business but the mom’s as to why she may or may not be breastfeeding her child.

So, do I want to breastfeed again? If I’m honest… no, I don’t. The closer it gets to her being here the more nervous I get and the more I can’t stand the thought of it.  But I will try. Just to keep the people who can’t leave well enough alone off my back.

Do you think women who don’t breastfeed are bad moms?? Why or why not?

Clearing the Air : Latest 10 things follow up

Well, I’m seriously laughing right now!

I decided to share my blog on a parenting forum, not because I really care what others think about the writing style and whatnot, but because I enjoy doing this. The one that got shared was the post before this, 10 things pregnancy does not entitle you to do. The responses were hilarious, to say the least. Apparently some of these people have just had the WORST time while pregnant!

The bottom pic was LITERALLY taken
today. Believe me, I am one uncomfy
beach ball right now! 

So, here’s some assumptions I want to clear the air about.

-I’ve never been pregnant.

False. Pregnant right now.

-My pregnancies have been easy!

Nope, my firstborn was breech and every kick made me feel like I was going to collapse. I puked constantly, up until the day I was 8 and a half months along. I hurt. I ached. This pregnancy has been a MILLION times worse. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months, I’m chasing a 2 year old, my back aches and I’ve had spells where I pass out or black out or my legs go numb.

I still stand by EVERY word I said.

Last time I checked, this was me and my kiddo. Pretty sure
you need a uterus to make one of those, and pretty
sure a uterus makes me a woman. 

-This was written by a man.

Hm, let’s see… boobs, check… vagina, check… pretty sure I’m missing the vital sausage equipment to be a man, and I’ve got two large milk-sacks on my chest telling me that I’m a chick.

-It could have been condensed/It repeated a lot/etc

Meh, personal opinion. I think there are varying kinds of being a bitch, and that’s why they’re all separated and not just in one big lump of ‘don’t be a bitch’. Besides, yes, be a bitch! I have been! I’m a bitch a LOT. But I don’t treat my partner like shit, or everyone else, or the poor barista making my latte.

Everything else, personal opinions.

I stated many times that I do not think that that article pertains to anyone who is actually on bed rest or anything like that. If you have a legit problem, then it’s obviously not a normal pregnancy. But… honestly?

Again, this was taken today, at 34 weeks and 2 days.
I have to pee ALL the time. I waddle when I walk
and have to sit a LOT because my crotch hurts.
I STILL park in regular spaces OR maternity spaces!
Handicapped spaces are for the HANDICAPPED!!!

Are your mood swings SO bad that you have to take it out on the world?  Probably not. Does that include little slips of snapping at people? Hell no. But being an outright bitch and snapping on occasion are two different things.

Do you NEED that handicapped space? NO. Don’t be an ass, don’t take it from some other poor person who really needs it. Take your time, walk slow! Trust me, if my 8 and a half months pregnant ass can make it, you can too. And no, not every place I go has a maternity parking spot.

Oh, about the peeing thing, seriously is it that hard to make yourself pee when you’re in a store where you can? I live in a pretty small town, and I have yet to throw a fit in any of the MANY stores where there are no public restrooms. I pee before I get there, put on an overnight pad, and I make sure to keep tabs on how bad I have to go at any point in time.

And about the house, I said letting the house go to shit, not neglecting the dusting people. But if there’s 4 days worth of dishes in your sink, there’s an issue.

This isn’t my first rodeo in being pregnant, mind you. However, I didn’t even do most of this with my first.  (The one I did do, was eating my guts out)

Assuming is dumb, people. Trust me, we’re women, we all get bitchy and snarky and hateful. The pics on my blog are really me and my child and partner, and I am in fact a real person. (As any of my facebook friends and family can attest to. Like, you know, my mother, aunts, partner, and more.)

Besides that, this was just to clear the air since a TON of the comments posted were very assuming and WAY off base. I’m sorry if it pissed off any of the women who act like this and didn’t like seeing that, no, not all women think that having a hard pregnancy entitles you to be like that. 

10 things... that pregnancy does NOT entitle you to do!

**Author's Note: Apparently I have to say this. This was meant as my thoughts on these things at the CRAZY end of the spectrum. Things like the chick at Starbucks going off on the barista, the people who let 2 weeks worth of laundry pile up, because oh, my back, the people who use hormones as an excuse to hurt their partner or scream at them, the people who eat enough for 5 when they're eating for 2. Not the people who are just a bit catty, the people who indulge in a cheesecake, etc. Believe me, if you read my other post, 10 things not to say to a pregnant woman, you'd know that I do not feel like that. Remember, this is about the extreme end of the spectrum here. Not your everyday pregnant chick having a bad day. **

So I’ve noticed that a lot of pregnant women seem to think that they are… entitled, so to speak… to special treatments when pregnant. Some things, yes, take advantage of. (When else will you have a chance to get your partner or others to pick things off the ground, or always seem to hold the door open for you, or be extra lovey to you. And the occasional foot rub is marvelous…) But some others I’ve seen? No. Just no. Pregnancy is not a disability or illness… we’re carrying a child/children, not invalid. So what are you not entitled to do?

1-Acting like a psycho.

Seriously people, you’re pregnant, usually, this is a choice you chose for yourself. (even accidental pregnancies have a choice, whether others agree with them or not) Don’t act like a raging psychopath because the store is out of Snickers, or because Starbucks got your Latte wrong. (I’ve seen both.) Don’t act like a nut and scream at your kids because you’re frazzled. Your hormones are going crazy, that doesn’t mean that you need to go nuts at the world. Self-Control. Get some.

2-Eating enough to feed an army.

Again with the whole self-control thing… Yes, eat a little more when pregnant! Indulge every so often! But don’t use being pregnant as an excuse to gorge yourself on every piece of junk food and crap you can find… Remember, what you eat WILL affect your baby and his/her weight when born. The healthier you are, the healthier your child is.

3-Letting the house go to complete s**t.

Should be obvious… we’re pregnant, not invalid… If washing a load of dishes is too much for you, then you’re in for a rough time with a newborn, let me tell you. (NOTE I’m not talking about women who are on bedrest or pelvic rest and have a medical condition… I’m talking about the precious princesses who think that pregnancy entitles them to a muscled guy in a loincloth feeding them grapes and rubbing their feet all day)

4-Ignore your other half’s needs.

I’m not talking about sex, ladies. He has a hand, he can use it when it comes to that. What I’m talking about is his emotional and social needs. Just because we feel like crap and may want to stay home, doesn’t mean he does. Let him go socialize with his friends. He needs social and emotional time too! As long as he’s not cheating, there’s no harm in him going out. And LISTEN when he tells you his needs! He has feelings and needs too! This isn’t only stressful to you. His head is wrapping around the thought of being a parent (possibly again). Give him whatever he needs emotionally, and he’ll be more likely to do the same for you.

5-Park in a handicapped spot!

This should be common freaking sense. You are NOT disabled… if you cannot make it in the parking lot, maybe you shouldn’t be in the store. I mean, honestly. You taking a handicapped space, takes that space from some elderly person or disabled person who REALLY needs it. Common Sense. You know your limits, park as close as you can, walk slowly, take your time, and you won’t need a handicapped space. If you’re worried about safety, then think about that in advance before you choose what stores to visit that day.

6-Treat others like crap.

Think about it… you are not entitled to treat people like shit because you are now pregnant. Hormones be damned. How would you like it if your partner went off on you every 3-4 days, out of the blue? Because men have a hormone flux similar to our period, every few days. Would that make you happy? Probably not. If it’s not an excuse for him, it sure as hell isn’t one for you.

7-Expect to be waited on hand and foot.

Again, you’re not disabled… You can get your own food most of the time. Once in a while is one thing, asking for the royal treatment all day every day for all 9 months? No. Just no. Get your own bowl of ice cream if you want it so badly…

8-Use non-public restrooms in stores.

Again, enough with the entitlement… If a store does not allow the public into their restroom, respect that and go to a store that DOES, make a mental note that this store does not, and move on. Don’t throw a hissy or cry until you get into the bathroom. They have the policies they have for a reason, whether you like it or not. Play it smart, if you’re prone to having accidents if you can’t get into a restroom in time, either go to the bathroom whenever you can, and/or get some pads and wear those to add some extra protection to your undergarments. It’s a lot harder to leak or pee through a pad than it is bare panties alone.

9-Treat your partner like crap.

Again, he can’t do it to you, you can’t do it to him. This includes going off on him for no reason, possibly laying your hands on him, screaming for no reason, etc. Even the most understanding men can only take so much punishment before they snap, and leave. Treat your partner the way you want him/her to treat you.

 

10-Act like a know it all.

Pretty simple. You do not know it all because you now have a child in you. Being pregnant does not make you know all about being pregnant, because every pregnancy is different. If you give advice, make sure to say that this was normal or off or right for YOU, and that everyone is different. Don’t come off as pretentious. 

What pregnancy entitlements annoy YOU the most?

Munchkin Minis #4 – Unlocking alternate Netflix!!

Ok, so I learned a neat little trick today!

 

Say you want to watch Netflix. You have the basic streaming. You live in the US. You find out that your FAVORITE show is streaming on Netflix… in Canada.

Bugger! Guess you have to deal with it, right?

WRONG! You download the Hola! app for Google Chrome. It’s a region switcher. What does that mean, exactly?

It unlocks things, such as Netflix, in other regions. Like Canada, or the UK.

So if Netflix Canada has that show you want, you go on your Netflix, you click the little Hola button on the upper right corner (it looks like a fireball) , and you change the region to Canada. All of a sudden, the whole library of Canadian Netflix shows and movies is unlocked for you!

 

You’re welcome. You now have a ton more stuff to kill time with. Only downside, you have to watch Netflix on Google Chrome to do this, which means you have to watch it on the computer. But that’s not a huge deal. It’s better than not being able to watch it at all!