Super Mario Brothers 2 (NES game review)

So, for days I’ve been working on this game review. One day was just figuring out what I wanted to review, now that I’ve already done my favorite game. (See my review on the game Crystalis) Once I had a general consensus on what people wanted to see, I had to actually replay the game, something I have not done in YEARS. I gave it a new chance with a blank slate. No judgment until I had finished the game.

Oh my GOD. I had forgotten how much I cannot stand this game! Before the lynch mob comes out for me daring to talk trash about a Mario game (apparently a cardinal sin in the gaming world), let me explain.

The game itself is not only incredibly difficult, but it has no Mario feel to it. It really doesn’t. It’s a HUGE leap, both graphically and story-wise, from the first Mario game, and doesn’t even flow with the THIRD game. The way you destroy enemies is completely different from almost all of the other old-school Mario games. In the other games, you stomp your enemies. You jump on them and squish them, or you use fire flowers, raccoon feathers/leaves/whatever (Yeah I never got that one either.), frog suits, tanooki suits (which is the raccoon suit with the added feature of temporarily turning to stone), and hammer suits, to power yourself up and get rid of them with the various suit effects. There were NO fire flowers, all that was in SMB2 was Stars, and you didn’t jump on your enemies to kill them. You threw vegetables at them. Vegetables. Freaking turnips and junk like that.

 

Ugh.

Many enemies were flat out repeats of each other (Ostro TONS of times, Mouser twice, a three headed creature twice). In SMB3, you got a different Koopa Kid with every world. In SMB1, you fought the same enemy multiple times, but he was always guarding the useless toad up until the last castle. But this game’s bosses were completely outside the norm of the original SMB games. (No, I have not read the book insert for the backstory as to where this game was supposed to take place. I have a reason for that)

However, there’s a very good reason it doesn’t feel like SMB. It originally WASN’T SMB at ALL. Originally, this game was called Doki Doki Panic, and was released in Japan under that title. Japan’s SMB2 was similar to SMB1, with a few additional things, like new mushrooms, including the toxic mushroom. However, that game was deemed to be too hard for American audiences, hence, we got Doki Doki Panic with a new set of sprites. In fact, even the powers of the four main characters were exactly the same. All they did was change some of the things that got thrown, and the sprites of the four main characters. They even kept the most of the same music! How lazy can you get?!

I’ve actually played Doki Doki Panic, and because it’s not SMB, it’s GOOD. It’s a fun, challenging game! It had no business being marketed as a Super Mario game at ALL! It would have done fairly well in the US all by itself, but to make a quick buck, they slapped the title of SMB2 on it. Way to make a quick cash-in Nintendo.

Now, the REAL SMB2… We’ve actually seen it in the US. It was released on the SNES in the game Super Mario All Stars. And, while it is a PAIN to beat…it’s a HELL of a game. There’s new features, such as the wind gusts that can knock you off ledges, and the aforementioned poisoned mushrooms. It’s meant to be a game you play once you master the original SMB, and it fully succeeds! The music makes you feel right at home while you play, and the graphics are JUST enough of an upgrade to make you feel like it’s shiny and new.

So, the final score? Well, since I want to review and score the real SMB2 and not Doki Doki Panic… I’ll be giving what we know as ‘the lost levels’ a score.

Story/Plot:  4 /5 stars. Eh, the story is a lot of the same stuff from SMB1, but that’s what makes it great! It’s what fans wanted, not a game with sprites replaced renamed into SMB2. The story is simple… save the princess. It’s what we loved in SMB1, and it’s perfectly fine for SMB2.

Gameplay: 5 /5 stars. Fluid, familiar, and smooth, again, it’s what we wanted initially. It’s the real deal, and a lot of work went into it, and you can tell. It’s got new features that SMB1 didn’t have, and it feels like a Mario game SHOULD feel. You stomp or shoot fireballs at enemies. None of that turnip-tossing junk.

Music: 5 /5 stars. It’s classic Mario music at its finest. Enough said.

Graphics: 4 /5 stars. While it IS an improvement, it’s not a huge one, but it’s not detrimental to the gameplay. I think that has more to do with the fact that it was ready for release well before Doki Doki was, thus it didn’t have quite the graphical upgrade that it could have had.

Overall: Overall, I give it 18 out of 20 stars. If you’ve never played the real SMB2, you need to do it. It’s worth the hours you’ll spend trying to beat it, believe me. It’s fun and addicting, and makes you want to keep trying. You WANT to save the princess, just like before. And saving the princess is always so much fun!  

Crystalis (NES game Review)

Ok, people, this week’s game review is on a cult classic. It’s an RPG that didn’t get the recognition it deserved in a crowded gaming market. On the block today, is Crystalis.

Crystalis, also known as God Slayer: Sonata of the Far-Away Sky in Japan, is an action-adventure RPG produced by SNK for the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES). It was released on April 13, 1990 in Japan, and later that July in the U.S.A. The game’s initial success prompted a release for the Game Boy Color by Nintendo Software Technology in 2000, a game that is considered more of a remake than a port of the original, and very inferior in many aspects.

Before the actual gameplay starts, you’re treated to the backstory of the game. This is a delight, because at the time this game came out, you didn’t see a ton of games offer up a big backstory in the game itself. Usually, the backstory was in the game manual. What we discover, is that war erupted October 1, 1997, also called the ‘End Day’. Civilization is destroyed from this savage war. The humans and animals who survived the war, were all changed. Humans evolved to use long buried magic powers, animals mutated. The survivors vowed to never make the same mistakes, and erected a large tower in the sky, intending to oppress evil forever.

100 years has passed since 1997 and the beginning of the game. Most of the earth is dominated by mutated creatures. The people worked together to rebuild villages and fix their lives, but they still lived in fear. As they feared the rebirth of evil, they remembered the tower and the consequences of activating it. They feared what would happen if evil emerged, but there was one last hope. That hope is you.

The game begins with the protagonist, a man in a cryogenic sleep, awakening and coming out of a cave in the town of Leaf, which is the first town you’ll see in the game.  You are given money and a sword, the first of4 main swords, and you begin your quest to discover your past. When you awaken, your memories have been damaged from the cryo-sleep, so you have no idea who you are or what your purpose is. As you travel, you meet many wise men, who help you gain magic abilities, and you gather up the four swords, to stop Emperor Draygon, save Mesia, who was also cryogenically frozen and awakened when you did in another part of the world, and in the end, stop the tower once and for all, and save the world.

Now, how did this game stand up to others of its time??

Story/Plot:  5 /5 stars. The story is mind-numbingly good. It sucks you in for HOURS at a time, and makes you come back for more and more. There’s always some new boss or some new magic power for you to get. There are twists to the story around every turn, and something bad happens fairly often for you to fix.

Gameplay: 4 /5 stars. It’s really fluid, smooth playing, but parts of it get repetitive. But, the thought and memory you have to put to getting around the dungeons and castles and caves really makes this game interesting and fun. And one of the biggest pluses to this game… you can save your progress almost anytime.  The menu for your items, swords, and magic is also simple and easy to use.

Music: 5 /5 stars. SNK really outdid themselves with this 8 bit soundtrack that almost sounded more powerful than it was. It added suspense, it added a sense of calm, and it added excitement to the game that other games of that could only dream of.

Graphics: 4 /5 stars. While the graphics were ok for their time, I have seen better. But, it really doesn’t detract from the gameplay, and the game runs smoothly. It’s good, just not quite ‘great’.

Overall: Overall, I give it 18 out of 20 stars. The good really does outweigh the bad with this game! The game, again, runs smoothly, it’s exciting, and it’s a great action RPG that gives you a hell of a challenge. The hidden items and puzzles make you really think. So, overall, it’s a great game that gives you hours of fun. I really suggest you give it a shot and try it out! 

She's tougher than daddy!

Oh my god. I thought I had seen it all, when it comes to toughness in my kiddo. I was wrong.

This evening, my daughter just out-toughed her dad, AND his work buddies at the shop! And she’s 2!

A couple of days ago, my other half had his friend bring him back a box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans from Universal Studios Islands of Adventure.  In case you have no idea what those are, let me explain. They have some good flavors, like blueberry, raspberry, cherry, lemon drop… and then, there’s the OTHER flavors, like vomit, rotten eggs, earthworm, earwax, booger, and dirt.

 All day yesterday, they were chowing down these things, and gagging and spitting out the BAD flavors, like vomit, earthworm, and dirt. Well, the kiddo wanted some. And just because there’s gross flavors, doesn’t mean I’m going to shelter her from them. So, we gave in and let her have some.

My kid ate them like a CHAMP. Only gave any unsightly face at the dirt flavor, and she tried pretty much every other flavor in the box. I was expecting gagging, spitting it out, the typical reaction. Instead, she ate it with a straight face, and asked for MORE. I was shocked! And proud!

My kid out-toughed her dad! And it was awesome!