Maternity parking is for PREGNANT women...

Ok, I’m going to start this off by saying…

Look at my bump! LOOK AT IT!

I’m 36 weeks pregnant! (Minus one day. Close enough darn it!)

And that means I waddle when I go anywhere, and I have started, yes, using the maternity parking wherever I go, if it’s there.  Now, I have this pet peeve about parking places being used by people who don’t need them… I hate when perfectly normal, healthy people use grandma’s car and their handicapped sticker or hanging sign, for example. I also hate when people who are not pregnant park in the maternity parking meant for people 5 months and up.

Today, I was at the mall, and I go once a week for the exercise and to take Rayne for some girls time. We just go walk, we get some lunch, and her aunties work there so we stop and say hi. I physically cannot handle the long walk from the back of the parking lot to the mall’s inside, but if all spaces are taken I’ll suck it up. I just have to sit a while when we get in the mall.

Snuggling her sissy. Because I feel like
showing off my girls today, darn
it!

Well, I park about 6 spaces from the maternity parking, which was full, but I have a small contraction as I get out the car, which happens. It’s part of why, recently, I really use those maternity spaces whenever I can. I lean against the car for a minute, when who walks out but 3 girls, looking to be ranging in age from 17 to 20. Not a one was pregnant. And they were chatting and cackling about how they got great parking and how no one had even checked to see if they were pregnant or anything, and how this was WAY better than parking further back!

By this point, I’m listening intently. And I’m fuming. Like I said, it’s a pet peeve.

They continue giggling and laughing as they get in their car and leave. I hadn’t gotten Rayne out of the car yet, so I went back in and got in that space really fast. But… come on! You three healthy teenagers had to take a space designated for someone who really can’t do as much walking as you?

I mean, they didn't LOOK blind... pretty sure
they could read what the sign said... 

Before anyone says that ‘if you can’t walk, don’t go at all’, note that I was more than willing to park further back. It’s the principle of the whole matter.

I don’t see why people can’t have some damn class and just, I dunno, take a regular spot? Like every pregnant chick has to do when the maternity spots are full?  If a pregnant woman had gotten into that car, I so wouldn’t have cared about it… but these were teenagers who were bragging to each other about parking in the spot when not pregnant.

I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a shut in the last month of this party. I want as much exercise as I can, and that means that I go out to places like the mall, during the day when it’s not busy, and I walk a little while my other half works during the day.

On the list of things that piss me off, this and taking a handicapped space from someone who needs it are pretty close to the top of the list…

So what do you think? Irrational to be annoyed internally, or annoying and it really should stop? Do you get annoyed seeing someone take a maternity space when they aren’t pregnant? (or a Handicapped space when they aren’t handicapped?) 

Shopping Carts: Is there added danger, or should people pay better attention?

I was browsing on Facebook while taking a break from a paper I’m working on, and an article from CafeMom popped up on my feed. Every once in a while, they get something interesting, so I clicked and decided to blow a few minutes reading the article.

The article in question was about a ‘Simple Thing Moms Use Every Day Causes Thousands Of Toddler Head Injuries’. It was about shopping carts, and the seats the kids sit in. And I’m not talking putting the car infant seat on the cart or anything like that. That is definitely unsafe… but the cart with a child of the proper age and size in the seat.

Article: Simple Thing Moms Use Every Day Causes Thousands Of Toddler Head Injuries 

Come on. Really?

Who else can see the big boo-boo in this
pic? Anyone else see the un-buckled
strap? 

Out of those statistics in the article, that “24,000 children are sent to the ER due to shopping cart injuries “ each year, how many of those kids weren’t being properly supervised by the caregiver? The article tells about how 70.4% of the accidents are due to children falling out of the cart. If you’re keeping a proper eye on the child, how in the world is it falling out of the cart? I’m not talking about hovering over the kid the whole time, but it’s usually pretty easy to tell when the child is trying to stand up in the cart or is shaking the cart so rough that it could tip… how hard is it to step in and, if the behavior persists, take the child out of the basket and hold their hand while finishing the shopping? I’ve had to do that a few good times, take my daughter out of the cart and hold her hand while I pushed the cart, all because she would not sit still in the cart and knows how to un-strap her seat belt in the cart.

The other 29.6% of injuries are from children  running into the cart, falling over it, having a body part trapped in it, or having the cart tip over… that sounds a LOT like someone not keeping control of their children in the store, and letting them run wild… I’m not saying children should be perfect little angels, but they don’t need to be running rampant in the store either. Think about it, how many times on a trip to the store have we seen a child running up the aisles, the parents not watching at all, while the child gets into everything??

It’s not safe. And we can’t and shouldn’t blame anyone but the parents if something happens to happen. My daughter walks alongside us at the store. She is 2 and a half. If she were to climb a shelf because we stopped watching (Which does not happen, by the
way, she generally knows if not in the basket, to hold a hand) then that would be our fault. Not a faulty shelf, not the store, not a shopping cart… but ours.

You take responsibility when the lack of attention results in the child getting injured. And it sucks, you feel like shit, you learn from it, and you move on. This is like the people who were misusing the Bumbo seats, so they had to do a recall… When the item is used the right way, the way it’s meant to be used, it’s safe. It’s not safe when used improperly, nothing is.

Example of Child Running Rampant.
(Yes, I am aware it's a commercial)

My TV is safe on the entertainment center. It’s not safe if I try to play catch with it. My blender is safe on the counter, used as instructed. It’s not safe if I set it in the bathtub and stick my hand in, and turn it on. Same concept.

And I understand the article saying we can’t watch the child constantly AND shop for food at the same time. That said however, I see many parents who just wander up and down the aisle while the child is parked and sitting in the cart, bored as all get out and trying to get up and stand in the seat. And MANY of those parents would get pissed if someone stepped in and told their child to sit in their seat so they didn’t fall.

Please, if you’re going to use a shopping cart, be safe. Watch your child. Take responsibility and keep your child seated and buckled, or make them hold your hand while you walk. So many accidents could be prevented with proper use of the shopping cart. 

Excuse me, C-section Mamas are WHAT?!

I had a WHOLE different post written up before this, but it was mostly my hormonal bitching about not being able to go out of town anymore because Chloe will be here in a month. Not worth reading. And the only other thing I hear about with any frequency on the news is about Justin Bieber and his idiocy, and how he’s been doing stuff that would get any other person with a work visa freaking deported.

Earlier, I was reading an article about something called ‘Family-Centered Cesareans’. It was pretty interesting, and as a mother who has had a C-Section with her first pregnancy, I can tell you, I’d have appreciated a LOT of what this article was saying… I’d have loved some relaxing music, or to hold my child directly after birth, and even to see her being pulled from me.  

What got to me were some of the comments.

See this? It was NOT easy being
cut open, let me tell you...
Healing that crap HURTS!

Lots and lots of ignorance.

A lot of people were saying that ‘Women who have c-sections are lazy’, and ‘haven’t you seen The Business of Being Born, educate yourself’ and more. I’d like to clear the air from one C-section mother to the many who apparently don’t know some of these things that cause a woman to have a C-section.

First off, no, we’re not lazy. Considering the recovery time in a C-section, and how miserable you feel once the anesthesia wears off some, I guarantee you we’re not lazy. Have you ever stood up and felt like your entire intestines were going to fall out of your stomach from the movement? Had to hold a pillow to your gut to laugh, sneeze, or cry?  Had to try and prop yourself up to attempt to do a night nursing with the searing pain of a knife ripping through your stomach?

Yeah, not lazy. We go through quite a bit to have a healthy, happy baby, thank you. I applaud you for being able to have a vaginal birth, but please don’t call me or others like me lazy for not being able to do the same.

Swear to God if one more
person asks me if I've seen
this movie...

To answer that, YES, about
15 times!

Second, we’re ‘uneducated’ about doctors and we’ve let ourselves be pressured, the body was made for this, etc. Yes, we’re well aware that our bodies were made to have children. However, not every person who has a C-section has not done any research and is going into this blindly. I, personally, read EVERYTHING I could before I allowed this to be done to me. I was seeing a midwife, not an OB. I was on a very healthy diet, no junk food, I was planning an all-natural water birth and wasn’t even using Tylenol. Then, after having to go to the hospital… we found out our daughter was transverse breech. She was laying horizontally in there. We tried to get her to turn, I did all kinds of yoga and other things, but she was not budging, so by 34 weeks, we were scheduling her C-section.

It was the LAST thing I wanted, and seeing the many comments on articles and pages about how lazy and stupid women who ‘let themselves be conned into’ a C-section were, I actually cried. I mean come on… how narrow-minded do you have to be to think that all women go into this blindly, with no thought about other ways to do it? That it’s an easy choice?

It wasn’t. And I hated having to have it. So no, I was not uneducated, and many other women who have C-sections are not uneducated, either.

Yeah not all C-sections fall
into this category.

Third, all C-sections are/should be ‘emergency’. Just… no. Breech babies that will not turn are not an emergency, but they still have to come out.

Fourth, our bodies were made to do this… Gee, thank you for making me feel MORE defective. I am well aware that our bodies are made to house and birth a child… it doesn’t mean that things always work out and go that way. My body being made to do it, did not make my daughter flip in there. Our bodies being made to do it, does not make the larger baby that got stuck in the birth canal come out easier.

Yes, our bodies are made for this, but sometimes, shit happens.

And lastly, in general… why does anyone else care HOW a baby is born? I mean honestly, does it make the baby have a serious problem if they’re born one way over another? No? Does a woman having a C-section affect you in any way whatsoever? No? So why do you care?

This really falls into the ‘mind your own business’ category here. Even if a woman chooses a C-section, what does it matter to you? Why do you care? Why, in the grand scheme of things, is this, a C-section, so much of a big deal that you have to call the woman lazy for it? Why are you so incapable of minding your own business, not passing any judgment on them for not having a vaginal birth, and instead just celebrating the life they carried for 9 months and now have in their arms?

Is it that tough?

I’m having my second daughter VIA C-section in February. I wanted to try for a VBAC, but the way I was cut the first time plus other issues we’ve had this pregnancy, we felt safer, not only my OB but me and my other half as well, to just have the C-section. I realize that the risks of uterine rupture are low, but those are risks we don’t want to take. I want to minimize the risks of leaving my child without her baby sister and without her mother, leaving my other half to care for her alone.  

I don’t want to risk that. And that alone should be enough. For us, that meant having the surgery.

So before you call a mother lazy or uneducated for the way her child is/was born, remember, you have no idea WHAT that woman went through, and she has no reason to justify herself to someone who probably doesn’t care to hear it anyhow.

Honesty time... I don't like breastfeeding... and I don't want to try again.

I got to thinking last night, about how Chloe will be here in a few weeks, and how ready we are to have our second little sweetie in our arms and happy at home. I also got to thinking about things that I had thought I was 100% sure about… like if I really wanted to breastfeed her.

Now, I’m not going to lie, I know that it’s the best thing she could get from me, the best present I could give her... and don't get me wrong, I think the act of breastfeeding is a beautiful thing and a great way to bond… but honestly… I hated even trying with Rayne. It hurt, it was uncomfortable, I felt gross when friends visited and I had her attached, and she didn’t take to it, so for a week, she was constantly hungry. My milk came in, but she wasn’t getting any of it. My other half had to pump one side with a manual pump while Rayne tried to nurse on the other side. And then I’d still have to pump the side she had nursed on, because she never got more than an ¼ an ounce, and there’d be another ounce or two in there. And the pain of having engorged breasts is absolutely horrendous…

But, the pressure to succeed is incredibly strong nowadays…

You hear it all the time… Breastfed babies are smarter than formula fed ones. Breastfed babies sleep better. Breastfeeding is the best you can do for your child, if you don’t try you failed. Breastfeeding is the strongest bond a mother and child can have. Breastfeeding is what you do when you care. It’s better, keeps your child healthier, makes the baby stronger, reduces SIDS, etc. We are bombarded with studies and websites and various people telling us that this is what we NEED to do. 

That is a LOT of pressure to do something that, honestly, should be a personal choice.

NO ONE should be made to feel bad for not being able to breastfeed. No one should be made to feel bad for not WANTING to breastfeed. And no one should feel bad for wanting to breastfeed or not wanting to formula feed, either, but that is something I rarely see… I very rarely see people who bash breastfeeding moms simply for breastfeeding. I’ve seen people not liking the breastfeeding in public, but not the backlash for the act of breastfeeding that I have seen for the act of formula feeding.

I have seen some mothers tell other moms they are poisoning their children by using formula. I’ve seen them say that they are borderline abusive for not breastfeeding or even trying to. I’ve seen women say that all women should breastfeed their kids and that if they can’t, they aren’t trying hard enough because all women can do it. Why? Why do we have to lecture moms who decide to do things in a perfectly acceptable way?

I don’t want to even try this time, if I’m honest with myself. I catch myself checking out formula prices and bottles when we go to the store. I don’t look at breast pumps as much, if at all.

Will I try and breastfeed again? Probably. But it won’t be because I want to, as much as it will be because it’s what’s expected of a ‘good’ mom.

I want to go back to work in May or June. I’m not graduating college to hang a degree on my wall and call it a day. I want to work. It’s going to be FAR harder for me to do that… if I am breastfeeding. That is a BIG thing for us.

I don’t understand why women have to judge about things like this so much. These personal choices do not determine how good of a parent you’ll be… Whether you vaccinate or choose not to, circumcise or not, breastfeed or not, delay solids or not… it does not determine how good or bad of a parent you are!

I think as a whole, society needs to learn to mind their own business when it comes to how other people

parent their kids. (NOTE: If real abuse is going on, of COURSE step in! That is a whole different ball game) If a parent disciplines in a way you are not comfortable with, don’t speak to them, but don’t go calling CPS for every swat to the butt or raised voice. If a parent is formula feeding… don’t assume they didn’t try to breastfeed, or even worry about it. The child is getting fed, and loved, and getting the nutrients they need. It’s no one’s business but the mom’s as to why she may or may not be breastfeeding her child.

So, do I want to breastfeed again? If I’m honest… no, I don’t. The closer it gets to her being here the more nervous I get and the more I can’t stand the thought of it.  But I will try. Just to keep the people who can’t leave well enough alone off my back.

Do you think women who don’t breastfeed are bad moms?? Why or why not?

Clearing the Air : Latest 10 things follow up

Well, I’m seriously laughing right now!

I decided to share my blog on a parenting forum, not because I really care what others think about the writing style and whatnot, but because I enjoy doing this. The one that got shared was the post before this, 10 things pregnancy does not entitle you to do. The responses were hilarious, to say the least. Apparently some of these people have just had the WORST time while pregnant!

The bottom pic was LITERALLY taken
today. Believe me, I am one uncomfy
beach ball right now! 

So, here’s some assumptions I want to clear the air about.

-I’ve never been pregnant.

False. Pregnant right now.

-My pregnancies have been easy!

Nope, my firstborn was breech and every kick made me feel like I was going to collapse. I puked constantly, up until the day I was 8 and a half months along. I hurt. I ached. This pregnancy has been a MILLION times worse. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months, I’m chasing a 2 year old, my back aches and I’ve had spells where I pass out or black out or my legs go numb.

I still stand by EVERY word I said.

Last time I checked, this was me and my kiddo. Pretty sure
you need a uterus to make one of those, and pretty
sure a uterus makes me a woman. 

-This was written by a man.

Hm, let’s see… boobs, check… vagina, check… pretty sure I’m missing the vital sausage equipment to be a man, and I’ve got two large milk-sacks on my chest telling me that I’m a chick.

-It could have been condensed/It repeated a lot/etc

Meh, personal opinion. I think there are varying kinds of being a bitch, and that’s why they’re all separated and not just in one big lump of ‘don’t be a bitch’. Besides, yes, be a bitch! I have been! I’m a bitch a LOT. But I don’t treat my partner like shit, or everyone else, or the poor barista making my latte.

Everything else, personal opinions.

I stated many times that I do not think that that article pertains to anyone who is actually on bed rest or anything like that. If you have a legit problem, then it’s obviously not a normal pregnancy. But… honestly?

Again, this was taken today, at 34 weeks and 2 days.
I have to pee ALL the time. I waddle when I walk
and have to sit a LOT because my crotch hurts.
I STILL park in regular spaces OR maternity spaces!
Handicapped spaces are for the HANDICAPPED!!!

Are your mood swings SO bad that you have to take it out on the world?  Probably not. Does that include little slips of snapping at people? Hell no. But being an outright bitch and snapping on occasion are two different things.

Do you NEED that handicapped space? NO. Don’t be an ass, don’t take it from some other poor person who really needs it. Take your time, walk slow! Trust me, if my 8 and a half months pregnant ass can make it, you can too. And no, not every place I go has a maternity parking spot.

Oh, about the peeing thing, seriously is it that hard to make yourself pee when you’re in a store where you can? I live in a pretty small town, and I have yet to throw a fit in any of the MANY stores where there are no public restrooms. I pee before I get there, put on an overnight pad, and I make sure to keep tabs on how bad I have to go at any point in time.

And about the house, I said letting the house go to shit, not neglecting the dusting people. But if there’s 4 days worth of dishes in your sink, there’s an issue.

This isn’t my first rodeo in being pregnant, mind you. However, I didn’t even do most of this with my first.  (The one I did do, was eating my guts out)

Assuming is dumb, people. Trust me, we’re women, we all get bitchy and snarky and hateful. The pics on my blog are really me and my child and partner, and I am in fact a real person. (As any of my facebook friends and family can attest to. Like, you know, my mother, aunts, partner, and more.)

Besides that, this was just to clear the air since a TON of the comments posted were very assuming and WAY off base. I’m sorry if it pissed off any of the women who act like this and didn’t like seeing that, no, not all women think that having a hard pregnancy entitles you to be like that. 

10 things... that pregnancy does NOT entitle you to do!

**Author's Note: Apparently I have to say this. This was meant as my thoughts on these things at the CRAZY end of the spectrum. Things like the chick at Starbucks going off on the barista, the people who let 2 weeks worth of laundry pile up, because oh, my back, the people who use hormones as an excuse to hurt their partner or scream at them, the people who eat enough for 5 when they're eating for 2. Not the people who are just a bit catty, the people who indulge in a cheesecake, etc. Believe me, if you read my other post, 10 things not to say to a pregnant woman, you'd know that I do not feel like that. Remember, this is about the extreme end of the spectrum here. Not your everyday pregnant chick having a bad day. **

So I’ve noticed that a lot of pregnant women seem to think that they are… entitled, so to speak… to special treatments when pregnant. Some things, yes, take advantage of. (When else will you have a chance to get your partner or others to pick things off the ground, or always seem to hold the door open for you, or be extra lovey to you. And the occasional foot rub is marvelous…) But some others I’ve seen? No. Just no. Pregnancy is not a disability or illness… we’re carrying a child/children, not invalid. So what are you not entitled to do?

1-Acting like a psycho.

Seriously people, you’re pregnant, usually, this is a choice you chose for yourself. (even accidental pregnancies have a choice, whether others agree with them or not) Don’t act like a raging psychopath because the store is out of Snickers, or because Starbucks got your Latte wrong. (I’ve seen both.) Don’t act like a nut and scream at your kids because you’re frazzled. Your hormones are going crazy, that doesn’t mean that you need to go nuts at the world. Self-Control. Get some.

2-Eating enough to feed an army.

Again with the whole self-control thing… Yes, eat a little more when pregnant! Indulge every so often! But don’t use being pregnant as an excuse to gorge yourself on every piece of junk food and crap you can find… Remember, what you eat WILL affect your baby and his/her weight when born. The healthier you are, the healthier your child is.

3-Letting the house go to complete s**t.

Should be obvious… we’re pregnant, not invalid… If washing a load of dishes is too much for you, then you’re in for a rough time with a newborn, let me tell you. (NOTE I’m not talking about women who are on bedrest or pelvic rest and have a medical condition… I’m talking about the precious princesses who think that pregnancy entitles them to a muscled guy in a loincloth feeding them grapes and rubbing their feet all day)

4-Ignore your other half’s needs.

I’m not talking about sex, ladies. He has a hand, he can use it when it comes to that. What I’m talking about is his emotional and social needs. Just because we feel like crap and may want to stay home, doesn’t mean he does. Let him go socialize with his friends. He needs social and emotional time too! As long as he’s not cheating, there’s no harm in him going out. And LISTEN when he tells you his needs! He has feelings and needs too! This isn’t only stressful to you. His head is wrapping around the thought of being a parent (possibly again). Give him whatever he needs emotionally, and he’ll be more likely to do the same for you.

5-Park in a handicapped spot!

This should be common freaking sense. You are NOT disabled… if you cannot make it in the parking lot, maybe you shouldn’t be in the store. I mean, honestly. You taking a handicapped space, takes that space from some elderly person or disabled person who REALLY needs it. Common Sense. You know your limits, park as close as you can, walk slowly, take your time, and you won’t need a handicapped space. If you’re worried about safety, then think about that in advance before you choose what stores to visit that day.

6-Treat others like crap.

Think about it… you are not entitled to treat people like shit because you are now pregnant. Hormones be damned. How would you like it if your partner went off on you every 3-4 days, out of the blue? Because men have a hormone flux similar to our period, every few days. Would that make you happy? Probably not. If it’s not an excuse for him, it sure as hell isn’t one for you.

7-Expect to be waited on hand and foot.

Again, you’re not disabled… You can get your own food most of the time. Once in a while is one thing, asking for the royal treatment all day every day for all 9 months? No. Just no. Get your own bowl of ice cream if you want it so badly…

8-Use non-public restrooms in stores.

Again, enough with the entitlement… If a store does not allow the public into their restroom, respect that and go to a store that DOES, make a mental note that this store does not, and move on. Don’t throw a hissy or cry until you get into the bathroom. They have the policies they have for a reason, whether you like it or not. Play it smart, if you’re prone to having accidents if you can’t get into a restroom in time, either go to the bathroom whenever you can, and/or get some pads and wear those to add some extra protection to your undergarments. It’s a lot harder to leak or pee through a pad than it is bare panties alone.

9-Treat your partner like crap.

Again, he can’t do it to you, you can’t do it to him. This includes going off on him for no reason, possibly laying your hands on him, screaming for no reason, etc. Even the most understanding men can only take so much punishment before they snap, and leave. Treat your partner the way you want him/her to treat you.

 

10-Act like a know it all.

Pretty simple. You do not know it all because you now have a child in you. Being pregnant does not make you know all about being pregnant, because every pregnancy is different. If you give advice, make sure to say that this was normal or off or right for YOU, and that everyone is different. Don’t come off as pretentious. 

What pregnancy entitlements annoy YOU the most?

Munchkin Minis #4 – Unlocking alternate Netflix!!

Ok, so I learned a neat little trick today!

 

Say you want to watch Netflix. You have the basic streaming. You live in the US. You find out that your FAVORITE show is streaming on Netflix… in Canada.

Bugger! Guess you have to deal with it, right?

WRONG! You download the Hola! app for Google Chrome. It’s a region switcher. What does that mean, exactly?

It unlocks things, such as Netflix, in other regions. Like Canada, or the UK.

So if Netflix Canada has that show you want, you go on your Netflix, you click the little Hola button on the upper right corner (it looks like a fireball) , and you change the region to Canada. All of a sudden, the whole library of Canadian Netflix shows and movies is unlocked for you!

 

You’re welcome. You now have a ton more stuff to kill time with. Only downside, you have to watch Netflix on Google Chrome to do this, which means you have to watch it on the computer. But that’s not a huge deal. It’s better than not being able to watch it at all! 

10 things... not to say to a pregnant woman!

We all know it happens. We’re out on campus or at the store, and someone decides to say or do something that just makes us go ‘WTF!”. It’s always worse when you’re pregnant too, every person who  has ever watched a TV show with a pregnant woman in it thinks they know more than the mom does. And they have to butt in. It happens all the time. From people reaching out to rub the belly without warning (Seriously, for all I know you’ve got the damn flu, keep your hands to yourself!) to the unwanted advice, we all have things we don’t want to hear when we’re pregnant.

1. “You’re about to pop!”  

-Gee, thanks. Because I didn’t feel like an over-inflated beach ball already. I mean seriously, why would you tell a woman who may or may not already be struggling with being larger than she was pre-pregnancy, a woman who has had her whole body change in 9 months, that she looks like she’s about to drop? The same thing goes for the ever loved phrase “Wow, is it twins??” Seriously people. No.

2. “You don’t need to be eating that.”

-Wow, did you get your PhD at the Whole Foods store or something? Because you sound like a pretentious know it all. If you’re not my doctor, you don’t need to be telling me what I should or should not eat. For all you know, the cheesecake is my treat for the week. Bugger off.

3. “So, you’re done now, right?”

-And you need to know this… why? If I want a whole professional football team of children, that is MY business, not yours. Get a life.

 

4. “There goes your social life!”

-If I cared that much I wouldn’t be pregnant. Just saying. You don’t need to remind me that I can no longer go bar hopping on weekends or go out to the club whenever I want. (not that I ever did that regularly) Pretty sure that I’ve figured out that baby does not equal booze or clubbing.

5. “You look like a mess!”

-You grow a baby in your midsection and you tell me how hot you look while it’s all going on. Between stretch marks and weight gain and water retention and other things, what are you expecting? Hollywood mommy beauty? They have a team of people making them look like that. I have my makeup kit and the clothes I can afford.

6. “Goodness you look exhausted!”

-I’m lucky to get 3 hours of sleep at night now. Let’s see you get up every hour and a half at night, waking up to pee constantly, then trying in vain to get comfortable enough to get back to sleep, and see you get a good night’s sleep somehow. The bags under the eyes come with the territory.

7. “You don’t need to buy that for the baby!”

-I know that, thanks. I’m getting it because I want it, not because I need it. If it’s not your money and not your bank account, then I don’t need your input, thanks.

 

8. “You’re going to be breastfeeding, right?”

-Last time I checked, how I feed my kid is my business. Yes, I have all the info about how much better for baby it is. But they’re my boobs, which makes them my business, not yours.

9. “What kind of birth are you having?”

-Whichever one is the safest for the baby and best for me, thanks! If I can have the baby naturally, I will. If I need an epidural, I will get one. If the baby has to be delivered by Cesarean Section, it will. And it’s a need to know basis, and you don’t need to know!

10. “Oh we’ll be in the room when you deliver!”

-HA!

Oh, you’re serious.

Yeah, if you’re not invited, you won’t be there. I dare you to barge in on my time with my newborn and family when I haven’t invited you there. Seriously. Try it. See how fast those nurses call security to boot your ass out.

Have you heard some of these when you were pregnant? What was the thing people said to you that made you roll your eyes when you were pregnant?

Munchkin Minis #3 - Swearing Toddler Recap

Well, the mother has spoken about her son.

The 16-year old mother to the ‘Swearing Toddler’, as he has been called by many, many people, has come out to say that her son is ‘Not an anomaly’. That all kids curse, and that her son is just smart and was coached by the adults in the room, not including her.

See this? This is a BIG part of that poor child's problem...

Bull.

First off, my kid is about the same damn age as this kid. She does NOT use language like that, period. And she has heard it, we don’t censor ourselves around her to any extreme. She’s heard her share of foul words. She just knows that you don’t say those things. Because we do our jobs as parents and we tell her what she should or should not say. We explain why some words don’t get used. And she listens.

Second, yes, we know he’s being coached, that’s the problem! He’s being coached to say that crap! And you were in the HOUSE, so you could have checked up on him! Hell, I’d have checked up on my child the moment I heard a chair hit the floor.

Hopefully someone steps in to help this child and takes
him away from the shitty idiots who think talking
to a toddler in that manner is amusing.

And apparently there have been shootings near there and gang violence.

Do your job. Your age is no excuse! Teen mothers constantly want to shed the label of ‘teen moms’, but they do nothing but enforce it when they don’t step up and take care of their own kid and themselves! If you want to be the exception to the rule, then you do what you have to do!

I hope CPS relocates that kid to another family, pronto. Maybe he’ll have a decent shot at life if he’s in the hands of someone else who can better care for him. 

Link to Swearing Toddler's Mother's side of the story

Review: Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure

So, I got my Sally Hansen Vox Box in the mail today.

All in all, I think the polishes that came with it, the Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicures, are really great, but they have their cons.

Pros:
Dries Glossy
Seems to stay on well
Easy to fix Mistakes
Nice colors

Cons:
Stays wet for too long
Easy to mess up because of drying time
Polish is too thin (I used the Jaded color)

And to show the unboxing process and whatnot, here is my Youtube video of the unboxing and trying out the polish to review it.

Enjoy!

The downfall of parenting in Society: Swearing Toddler and More

Yesterday, I read two stories that absolutely disgusted me and one that made me smile and beam at my computer screen. Funny thing is, they all, in a way, tied into each other. Let me explain.

The first one was a video of a Omaha toddler who was being coached to not only flip off the adults in the room, but also to swear, telling them to “Shut up, Bitch”, and “Suck my Dick”, coached to say that he “wants pussy”, use the word ni**a, and act belligerently. Basically, things that would disgust most people with even an ounce of morality in their systems.
Link to Article/Video: Heartbreaking Video of Toddler   *NSFW- Lots of foul language, and be warned, it is HARD to watch this child get treated like trash by his own family and loved ones...*

The second one was an article stating that the Obama administration and Attorney General Eric Holder taking a stance on zero tolerance policies in schools, saying that they were targeting African American students and that they were, in a nutshell, racist because more black students were punished under these standards than white students, according to them.

Link to Article: Gov't: Most School Discipline Not Need Court

I’ll explain the third one at the end.

I’m going to link the video (see above), and you know what….

Look at this and honestly TELL me that you think
this is OK somehow...

You tell me that the video in question doesn’t directly correlate to the statistics that more black children get punished in schools than the white kids… Go ahead.

Tell me that ‘this was an isolated incident’. Tell me that ‘not all black parents are like this’.

I am aware of that. It’s the actions of the few that are tainting the actions of the many.

How many are watching those explicit rap videos in front of their children? How many are dressing in booty shorts and tube tops with their tits hanging out in front of their kids? How many are saying ‘Ni**a this, ni**a that’ or ‘that ni**a owes me money!’, or the father calling the mother a bitch? Or the rap videos calling women bitches and hoes?

See this? NOT APPROPRIATE for your kids, people!!!

Before anyone states the obvious, yes, I know the videos are not appropriate for children. Then they should not be watched around children.

See this? This is Appropriate for children. Not the other
picture with the gangsta and half naked chicks... 

Do you know what I watch around my toddler??  Sesame Street, Super Why, Mickey Mouse. The most I will watch around her, adult show wise, is Supernatural, or movies like Mamma Mia!, or the old Street Fighter movie. And as SOON as she repeats a foul word that she will inevitably pick up, we tell her that you do NOT say that. We teach her to listen to the adults in her life. To tell us, her parents, if someone hurts her. To control her      anger.

That’s called being a parent. Just because you pop out a child from your crotch, does not make you a mother. Donating sperm to a willing woman does not make you a father. It takes real work.

The boy’s uncle was one of the ones coaching that child to act like that. Do you know what I would do if my brother was teaching my child those things? I’d tell him never to come back around my daughter. He’d be LUCKY that my other half didn’t kick his ass… outside of the view of my child of course, because you do NOT teach those things to a child.

This goes to parents of ANY race, color, creed, etc. It’s not only black parents who are teaching this shit.

Kids should NOT be DOING this!!! And yes, she is
freaking twerking... 

Don’t teach your 2 year old to twerk, then get shocked when she ends up knocked up at 13. Don’t have your 4 year old play Grand Theft Auto, and then get shocked when the child goes out and robs someone or sells drugs or steals cars at 15. Don’t teach your child that the world should be serving them, and wonder why they end up in jail by 17.

You want your kid to dance? Do like so many others do, and either save up for dance classes or put on ballet or AGE-APPROPRIATE dance tapes for children. Not Miley’s twerking ass, or Beyonce’s half-naked ass-shaking, or one of the many male rappers who ends up tossing dollar bills on the backs of women in their videos.

THIS is what kids should be doing.
Not Twerking.

Be a damn parent. Don’t be an idiot. Kids are not there for your amusement. You are there to teach them how to be a productive, kind, and good person. Not to get them to cuss and flip off everyone who they disagree with.  If you are incapable of doing this, then maybe your kid needs to go to someone who CAN.

And people wonder why we have so much disrespect and why children are having sex in middle school more frequently now. Look at some of the parenting going on.

I should NOT have to sit my child down in pre-k and explain why your kid was trying to play doctor with another kid, and take their clothes off when no one was looking.  And if you put me in that position, you are not going to like the explanation I give my child… that some people shouldn’t have children because they teach them the wrong things. And that, that child should not be doing that, to tell her teacher, and to let me know if it keeps happening. And I will tell her to stay away from your child. Because my child does not need to associate with a 5 year old who thinks twerking on a male classmate is what she should do. And since the child isn’t mine, I can’t fix that. A few playdates with my child would not help. That is all on the parents, and I’m sorry, but you cannot fix stupid.

People wonder, therefore, why school’s zero tolerance policies are seeming to target black children.

Thinks all statistics in the schools regarding discipline
are racist because of the amount of black
kids who are being punished. *eyeroll*

I don’t think they are. I think, sadly, that is the demographic that is portraying themselves that way for the most part in these schools… and it’s showing in the records. How many of those black students in these statistics are repeat offenders? Was that shown? I don’t know how some of these parents are, but ALL of the parents I knew growing up, would have taken care of the issue before a second transgression took place.

You want to walk around looking gangsta or ‘thug’? Here, let me take those clothes, trash them, and replace your wardrobe.  Nothing wrong with pants that fit and T-shirts that don’t have bling all over them. Nothing wrong with cheaper shoes, they last about the same as those expensive ones anyways. And before anyone says ‘their money, they can buy whatever’, let me remind you that the child would be living in MY home. Under MY roof, eating MY food, while I pay the bills. No, they can follow MY rules. You do not act like a hoodlum under my roof.

See this? Not a place for stupid bullshit...

I think, while there are a LOT of white kids that are doing these things, and other races, that sadly, a large demographic now that does cause the severe trouble is what is shown in the statistics. I don’t think racism has anything to do with it. I think that’s just who is doing the transgressions that are under the zero tolerance policies. And that is a hard pill to swallow for some of these people.

It’s not all about race.

Sometimes, the kids really ARE deserving of the punishments they’re getting. Hate to say it, but it’s true. The world is not out to get these kids… they often are just acting like little hoodlums. And as someone who is raising a child to NOT act like that… I’m GLAD they’re standing up and refusing to let these kids get away with it.

The government needs to back off. Aren’t they already more involved than they should be?? How well are the SOLs and other standards of learning tests in other states REALLY working? Especially since it’s showing in some studies that the average reading level for many college graduates… is a 5^th grade reading level.

Last time I checked, they don't need to have their
nose in various state issues... like
EDUCATION.

How do you even graduate HIGH SCHOOL with a reading level like that??

Maybe if the government took their noses out of discipline in schools and stepped in when it comes to, oh, actual education, maybe we’d have less people who think that saying ‘Do you want fries with that’ qualifies them for $15 an hour, like it’s really hard work…

I’m sure working in a fast food place is tough… it does not require $15 an hour… because it is not a skilled trade.

This is called good parenting. I know, it's RARE these days.

You know what made me smile, though?? The third story. It was a man, a father, who has taken a voluntary paternity leave to spend time with his kids. He snapped a pic of him getting his kid ready for school with his infant on his chest in a carrier.

Link to Article: I Have a Dream that People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think it's a Big Deal

Go him!

THAT is the kind of parents we should be wanting to see! The kind of parent we should PRAISE. Instead, people were trashing him! Telling him they bet he’s a deadbeat, that the kids probably aren’t his because they are lighter than him, how he was a traitor to his race because he married a white woman, among other things.

REALLY? People are STUPID!

I’m not saying the guy deserves a parade or anything, but SHIT. He’s being a FATHER, and a damn good one at that!

 

This is ALSO called being a good father.
Whew, two rarities in ONE day! CRAZY!

My other half is like this guy. He loves on my pregnant belly, asks how she’s doing almost daily, he’s sat with me sitting between his legs while he just rubbed my belly for over an hour… he gets our daughter dressed, he’s taken care of her while I was too sick, he makes her meals, he gives her baths, brushes her teeth, helps her clean her room, sits her in his lap to ‘play video games with him’, watches TV with her, takes her places, spends time with her, teaches her things, and so much more. He is her protector. And apparently, him taking that active of a role means he’s overcompensating? Or that he’s secretly a deadbeat?

Please. Don’t give good dads a bad name because you’re jealous or secretly annoyed at yourself for not being as good as them. Don’t talk shit because you can’t step up.

(and by the way, he is SO not overcompensating for anything. *wink* He has no need to do so, none at ALL)

More dads should be like him, and like the guy in the picture who got flamed for sharing a cute family moment with his kids.

We should be expecting more of parents, not less. This goes for mothers as well.

Step up people. If you want different results with your kids in school and in society… teach them how to act. Don’t teach them to be delinquents, like the child in the first story, and expect upstanding citizens, or wonder why they end up in juvenile detention. Be realistic, and teach your kids to have morals and respect.