10 things... not to say to a pregnant woman!

We all know it happens. We’re out on campus or at the store, and someone decides to say or do something that just makes us go ‘WTF!”. It’s always worse when you’re pregnant too, every person who  has ever watched a TV show with a pregnant woman in it thinks they know more than the mom does. And they have to butt in. It happens all the time. From people reaching out to rub the belly without warning (Seriously, for all I know you’ve got the damn flu, keep your hands to yourself!) to the unwanted advice, we all have things we don’t want to hear when we’re pregnant.

1. “You’re about to pop!”  

-Gee, thanks. Because I didn’t feel like an over-inflated beach ball already. I mean seriously, why would you tell a woman who may or may not already be struggling with being larger than she was pre-pregnancy, a woman who has had her whole body change in 9 months, that she looks like she’s about to drop? The same thing goes for the ever loved phrase “Wow, is it twins??” Seriously people. No.

2. “You don’t need to be eating that.”

-Wow, did you get your PhD at the Whole Foods store or something? Because you sound like a pretentious know it all. If you’re not my doctor, you don’t need to be telling me what I should or should not eat. For all you know, the cheesecake is my treat for the week. Bugger off.

3. “So, you’re done now, right?”

-And you need to know this… why? If I want a whole professional football team of children, that is MY business, not yours. Get a life.

 

4. “There goes your social life!”

-If I cared that much I wouldn’t be pregnant. Just saying. You don’t need to remind me that I can no longer go bar hopping on weekends or go out to the club whenever I want. (not that I ever did that regularly) Pretty sure that I’ve figured out that baby does not equal booze or clubbing.

5. “You look like a mess!”

-You grow a baby in your midsection and you tell me how hot you look while it’s all going on. Between stretch marks and weight gain and water retention and other things, what are you expecting? Hollywood mommy beauty? They have a team of people making them look like that. I have my makeup kit and the clothes I can afford.

6. “Goodness you look exhausted!”

-I’m lucky to get 3 hours of sleep at night now. Let’s see you get up every hour and a half at night, waking up to pee constantly, then trying in vain to get comfortable enough to get back to sleep, and see you get a good night’s sleep somehow. The bags under the eyes come with the territory.

7. “You don’t need to buy that for the baby!”

-I know that, thanks. I’m getting it because I want it, not because I need it. If it’s not your money and not your bank account, then I don’t need your input, thanks.

 

8. “You’re going to be breastfeeding, right?”

-Last time I checked, how I feed my kid is my business. Yes, I have all the info about how much better for baby it is. But they’re my boobs, which makes them my business, not yours.

9. “What kind of birth are you having?”

-Whichever one is the safest for the baby and best for me, thanks! If I can have the baby naturally, I will. If I need an epidural, I will get one. If the baby has to be delivered by Cesarean Section, it will. And it’s a need to know basis, and you don’t need to know!

10. “Oh we’ll be in the room when you deliver!”

-HA!

Oh, you’re serious.

Yeah, if you’re not invited, you won’t be there. I dare you to barge in on my time with my newborn and family when I haven’t invited you there. Seriously. Try it. See how fast those nurses call security to boot your ass out.

Have you heard some of these when you were pregnant? What was the thing people said to you that made you roll your eyes when you were pregnant?